Back in December CDL posted Gamers are Great (and possibly psychotic) and I silently applauded because my brothers and I own maniac moments in Rollercoaster Tycoon 1, 2, and 3. We owned all three when we were in elementary school.
If you want to turn $10 into happiness forget the lotto tickets and pick up this gem on ebay.
What can I say, my brothers and I were destined for engineering, architecture, and industrial distribution, respectively. We were pretty brilliant visual-spacial kids that enjoyed building some pretty cool stuff, zoning the cute little landscapers to the puke-heavy rides, and selling concessions for like $15 a piece. (Business tip: commoners get pretty thirsty when they can’t find the park exit)
Our maniacal moments didn’t stop with highway robbery at the concession stands. We figured out on our own (read: before Googling cheats was a thing) some ridiculous ways to ruin the day at the park for our guests. Everyone knows you can fling a coaster off an incomplete track, BUT did you ever consider that you could re-land the coaster with the right adjustments?
Spoiler alert, you can’t. RIP pixel people, you died in the name of science.
I won’t elaborate further since but sometimes we would laugh so hard we cried. Someone even wet their pants but I won’t name names.
Instead, my main topic: you can win even when there isn’t competition.
In traditional terms this is an impossibility. But I am not talking about the cause–>effect sequence that has lead to some great advancements in society/science/entertainment/etc. I am talking about the people who said FFS I want to do this because why the hell not.
Have you ever been so bored you decided to balance office supplies? Or make a monstrously huge bubble with only dish soap and your hands? Or set up dominoes to topple them? Don’t lie. You did and it was awesome. You felt like a winner.
Welcome to the club Champ:
The Founder: Rube “BadAss” Goldburg
If you self identify as a geek I PRAY that you know who I am talking about. Hopefully you have already seen one of my favorite Rube Goldberg videos. You want to have a car roll down a ramp? Okay, you could just shoot the commercial with the banner thing. OR WE COULD WIN AT THIS. *cheer*!
Otto the 3-year old Bulldog
When you see, “A bulldog has set a new world record for the longest human tunnel travelled through by a skateboarding dog” I watch the damn video.
My dogs can barely ride in the truck bed without acting like happy drunks. This dog has skills! And now an official certificate! Winning! His owner said this all started as a game, haha!
The Majority of The Slow Mo Guys stuff
If you need to cut a watermelon but only have 200+ rubber bands there is still hope. And a guaranteed fist pump. They murder more than one melon in this video so I recommend watching the whole thing. There is no point aside from it being awesome to watch. That means they are still winning.
Also, it is disturbing how similar the watermellon explosion is to the Alien eggs. Ick. Fruit Ninja probably nutted in his pants. Double Ick.
There’s a lot more spectacular wins out there. I might do a Part 2.