B.o.B and Neil deGrassse Tyson Are Now Officially Beefing And It Is The Greatest Thing Ever

The face of all evil…

        So this is kind of a follow-up to our article yesterday about the lunatic ravings of some of Hollywood’s self-appointed truthers. Luckily we were not the only ones following the “Flat-Earth” tweets, Neil deGrasse Tyson was also chiming in and of course his science as well as his sense of humor were totally on point. Well apparently B.o.B. did not really appreciate all the… facts I guess? Anyways, as shown in this article from Popular Science, B.o.B has officially taken all of his anger and frustrations and funneled it into the first ever straight up rap dis track directed at a scientist. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence. Crazy times folks, crazy times. The track is titled “Flatlined” (because of course it is) and was released yesterday. It is a legit dis track, complete with all the language, metaphors, and anti-Semitism that one comes to expect when rappers are beefing. At least I think that’s how it works, I mean they can’t all be Holocaust deniers right? So the whole situation is absurd but at the same time absolutely hilarious, and truth be told the back track to Flatline is actually pretty catchy so hey, B.o.B you are still a magician but a scientist you are not.


If you want to listen to Flatline here you go!

How The Hell Is “Flat Earth Theory” Even A Thing??

        First and foremost, let me start off by saying that this is not going to be the most scientific of articles we have done on this site. How can it be when the subject is the fact that there are people out there known as “Flat Earthers” who are convinced that not only is the Earth a flat surface, but that the idea of a round Earth is a conspiracy being put forth by NASA and our government (completely disregarding the fact that this isn’t a new idea, a round Earth was proven more than thousand years ago, but whatever let’s not get bogged down in logic). It was something that I would stumble upon online every now and again that would cause me to just shake my head and lose a little more faith in humanity, however it was never something that I could ever really take seriously. I thought it was an eccentric little corner of the net reserved for people like the “Dinosaurs aren’t real” lady (don’t even get me started on her) and the “enemas cure autism” crowd. It’s actually kind of painful to plug those websites because I DON’T want to increase their traffic, but I just want to offer proof that I am not making this stuff up, these are legitimate albeit somewhat idiotic theories. So now that I have set the tone for the rest of the article, let’s get down to what has currently triggered today’s rant.

(Photo: Twitter) 

You know anytime you are using Tila Tequila as a part of your story, there’s not going to be very much logic involved

        For some reason, over the last 24 hours both Tila Tequila the MTV reality show has been and rapper B.o.B. have taken to twitter to have a war of the minds with… I guess intelligent people, over whether or not the world is round. I saw the headline this morning and thought well what the hell, how many people could actually be following these two on twitter? Unfortunately the answer is FUCKING MILLIONS. Why? I have no idea, but there are literally over a million people that follow these two and want to know what they say. Although that was a somewhat startling revelation, what was even more so was the fact that although there were quite a few people trying to show them evidence of how they were wrong. And for real, there is TONS OF EVIDENCE. This isn’t even hard, there is just so much of it out there. But there was a surprising number of people singing their praises that they are finally getting to the truth of the matter and speaking for those out there who know the “real truth” about the hoax. I actually had to put my phone down, I was so shocked at the sheer volume of people who were on board with this. Confession: I didn’t put my phone down for long, this was like one of those moments I get pissed off at a video game and turn off my Playstation only to come back and turn it on 10 minutes later because I refuse to let it beat me. So yeah, I have been on B.o.B’s twitter about 6 times today and holy shit, it doesn’t get any better. As a matter of fact, the longer that it has been going on, the more supporters are absolutely FLOCKING to the fray to try and throw in their two cents about how the earth is flat. It was hard enough to have faith in a world where Tila Tequila was actually a name most people would know (I mean at least B.o.B is actually talented), but to actually see the stupidity that flows freely from some of these people, it just sucks. How did this happen?? In this day in age when we have the complete combined knowledge of humanity literally at our fingertips, how do we get here? Actually now that I ask that question I know the answer: people are watching goddamn Tila Tequila instead of the science channel. One good thing to come out of all of this though is that the face of modern science himself, Neil deGrasse Tyson decided to chime in on the issue himself, and it was a gem.


He has a good point, no need to miss out on the sick beats

        So I guess that’s it. End rant. Enjoy your Monday.


Winning With No Competition

Back in December CDL posted Gamers are Great (and possibly psychotic) and I silently applauded because my brothers and I own maniac moments in Rollercoaster Tycoon 1, 2, and 3.  We owned all three when we were in elementary school.
If you want to turn $10 into happiness forget the lotto tickets and pick up this gem on ebay.
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What can I say, my brothers and I were destined for engineering, architecture, and industrial distribution, respectively.  We were pretty brilliant visual-spacial kids that enjoyed building some pretty cool stuff, zoning the cute little landscapers to the puke-heavy rides, and selling concessions for like $15 a piece.  (Business tip: commoners get pretty thirsty when they can’t find the park exit)
Our maniacal moments didn’t stop with highway robbery at the concession stands.  We figured out on our own (read: before Googling cheats was a thing) some ridiculous ways to ruin the day at the park for our guests.  Everyone knows you can fling a coaster off an incomplete track, BUT did you ever consider that you could re-land the coaster with the right adjustments?
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Spoiler alert, you can’t.  RIP pixel people, you died in the name of science.
I won’t elaborate further since but sometimes we would laugh so hard we cried.  Someone even wet their pants but I won’t name names.
Instead, my main topic: you can win even when there isn’t competition.
In traditional terms this is an impossibility.  But I am not talking about the cause–>effect sequence that has lead to some great advancements in society/science/entertainment/etc.  I am talking about the people who said FFS I want to do this because why the hell not.
Have you ever been so bored you decided to balance office supplies?  Or make a monstrously huge bubble with only dish soap and your hands?  Or set up dominoes to topple them?  Don’t lie. You did and it was awesome.  You felt like a winner.
Welcome to the club Champ:
The Founder: Rube “BadAss” Goldburg 
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If you self identify as a geek I PRAY that you know who I am talking about.  Hopefully you have already seen one of my favorite Rube Goldberg videos.  You want to have a car roll down a ramp?  Okay, you could just shoot the commercial with the banner thing.  OR WE COULD WIN AT THIS.  *cheer*!
Otto the 3-year old Bulldog
When you see, “A bulldog has set a new world record for the longest human tunnel travelled through by a skateboarding dog” I watch the damn video.
My dogs can barely ride in the truck bed without acting like happy drunks. This dog has skills!    And now an official certificate!  Winning!  His owner said this all started as a game, haha!
The Majority of The Slow Mo Guys stuff
If you need to cut a watermelon but only have 200+ rubber bands there is still hope.  And a guaranteed fist pump.  They murder more than one melon in this video so I recommend watching the whole thing.  There is no point aside from it being awesome to watch.  That means they are still winning.
Also, it is disturbing how similar the watermellon explosion is to the Alien eggs.  Ick.  Fruit Ninja probably nutted in his pants.  Double Ick.
There’s a lot more spectacular wins out there.  I might do a Part 2.