Well of course, once I decide to recommit myself to writing and posting again with regularity, life throws a curveball. Good news! The baby is here. Crazy news: he came way earlier than anyone anticipated. He only made it to 32 weeks before he decided it was time to join the party. I might get into all of the details sometime down the road but for now I will say that both he and mom are happy and healthy and doing well.
As a matter of fact, looking at things three months later, he is about as healthy as we could have hoped for. I will be forever grateful for her strength, and the knowledge and caring of the hospital staff who helped get them both to where we are today. He spent two months in varying levels of the NICU, and I have spent a lot of hours up there thinking about how humbling it is to have so much time, energy, and resources spent on trying to get my son healthy so he could come home.
Don’t get me wrong, our current health system is absolutely broken and our insurance system is an absolute racket. I used to work in the industry and know it’s all bullshit to make a lot of people a lot of money. I know the bills are going to hurt when they finally process through the system and show up at my house. But, since I saw how much time and effort was put in around the clock care for this child, this time I think it will all be worth it.
I can tell writing this that I have some serious processing to do still to sort out the stress and trauma and feelings I have been holding onto since July. One thing at a time. For now I will just continue to enjoy the fact that all of my family is home together under one roof. My daughter is loving having a brother around to gawk at. My wife is mostly recovered and getting to spend time bonding with her baby outside of work. I get to come home every day to a chaotic but wonderful group of people that I love. That being said, I have once again neglected this page in the heat of the moment.
Fortunately, things do seem to be hitting equilibrium again, and I have actually been painting my way through the stress. So I do have more things to post and update in the near future. I will not make a commitment to the schedule since I have no idea on a day to day basis how much energy I will have. But I am not abandoning the blog again. Posts will be made! Words will be typed.
I’ll see you when I see you.
