Well it’s been over a year since I’ve made a blog post, so I’ll tell you what I’m definitely not going to do this year: promise to keep up with this blog. Been there, done that, absolutely did not write the book. To be honest I’m not sure why I keep this page around. I love the idea of having a place to collect my thoughts and to have my written word somewhere out there in the world. But when it comes down to it, I’ve just never had that much to say. I don’t know who I’m talking to. I’m not sure why I’m doing it. But every time I think about just erasing it and moving on it just feels wrong.
So here I am, January 5th. Back at it. I think I’m going to try something new this year though. I’m not going to make any grand statements. I’m not going to have any huge resolutions. I am fairly happy with myself right now. I like the version of myself that I am presenting to the world these days. I’m happy. I’m kind of healthy. I’m a good parent and a good friend. So instead of making changes, or trying to shake things up I think I am just going to set some goals. Nothing earth shattering or that are going to require any type of insane grinding to achieve. Just some simple things to reinforce good habits I have found myself having at various times in the past that have always had a good effect on me.
Maybe those will bleed over onto here and help me stay on top of things. Maybe I will feel a pressure to update the absolutely no one who reads this on my progress. Maybe I won’t. I hate pressure. I hate deadlines. I am a procrastinator to the core so when I try to bully myself into staying on top of things it falls apart real quick.
To be honest I don’t even know why some of these habits developed at certain points and then disappeared just as quickly. I wish I did know, I would try to bottle it up and use it again. Truth be told I think it’s more a matter of boredom than anything. Sometimes I’m bored and do a healthy thing. It’s really as simple as that. But maybe I can string a few of these healthy things together for a bit and see how it makes me feel. A lot of these are going to seem pretty simple or lame to others but I can live with that. So let’s see. Onto the list.
- Truly work out at least four days a week. I don’t have a weight goal or anything like that. I just enjoy the boost of confidence I get when I know I am getting stronger, or can run a mile. I am very hot or cold with working out, but usually that is because I am approaching it from a results based mindset. This time I just want to do it because it seems like a good idea and I like how it makes me feel. Plus I sleep better.
- Read at least one nonfiction book every month. I read a lot. All the time in fact. But it’s mostly just sci fi and fantasy fiction and although I think it’s important to get lost in another world (especially with the way that this one is going these days) I want to learn more. I want to hear perspectives. I want someone smarter than me to massage the dumb grey folds of my brain into something a little smarter.
- Finish one game a month. I don’t really have a point to this other than the fact that I play so many games all of the time and I finish absolutely none of them. Completing things is important. I feel like this is a symptom of a bigger character trait, but maybe this baby step will help me start finishing more things that I start. Plus people work hard on games, they deserve to have credits rolled from time to time.
- Write an hour a day. Whether that’s here, on stories, in journals, whatever. Just write. Put words in space. Make pages happen. Writing is important to me, and I’ve never known why. I’ve never gotten any sort of reward or recognition from it. 98% of the things I’ve written have never been seen by anyone but me. But I don’t want to stop. I feel like once I give it up I will lose something important and I don’t know how easy it will be to get back. So keep at it.
- Paint at least four times a week. I just want to keep getting better. I spent most of last year painting things for other people and I’ve realized that really killed my motivation to be consistent. As soon as I finished a project it was gone. No progress has been made on my armies or on things I want to paint. This hobby is getting dangerously close to being abandoned and that would make me very sad. I also think I’m starting to get kind of good at it.
- Tabletop at least two times a month. It’s hard to schedule and hard to pull off but I love gaming when I get a chance to do it, but this is one of the first things I give up due to scheduling. I get to the year and realize I’ve only played three or four games an entire year and that’s why I don’t get any better at them. Plus I miss my friends. So. Priority.
That’s it. That’s the list. Reading through it again I realize how much of this is just recreation or fun based. Maybe I can sum it up under the umbrella of have more fun. I don’t know how I am going to track this, because that seems like it takes away from the fun immediately, but I do want to know if I am able to do it or not. The list will probably be fluid, I am picking all of these numbers because they sound good at the moment, but I doubt I knocked the list out of the park on the first try.
So that’s where I am at right now. Hopefully I will have an update on this in a couple of days. Maybe you won’t hear from me again until next year. Maybe I will start an onlyfans and get rich and retire to a private island. The possibilities are endless. And if you somehow stumbled onto this rambling and made it this far then thank you. You must be very bored today but I appreciate you spending some time here. Don’t yell at me if I fail.
